Dialogues Overheard in a Squirrel Hutch in 1992

by David Caplan & Friends

BIG CARL: There among the evergreen trees is a girl I know with ashen hair and clothes of sooted mud,
dead she is dead. I've known her for three hours now. Smelled her up and down and now I just donÕt know
if we can be friends any longer. I used to like her but the way she keeps showing me the ants in her ass is
grossing me out and I think IÕll have to pack up my forty four and my flock of violets and fly like the acrid
wind surrounding her smelly swollen bloated belly. I just havenÕt made up my mind whether itÕll be on the
greyhound or the walking shoes my momma had bought me only a short while ago. I just donÕt know.

DONALD: My hand, look it. Look it! It did that. It sawed off the gentle limb of that poeteriatic bird and left
not but the one flap-flapping wing. Never to flutter flutter on a cool morning breeze again, what god made
these hands? They are-are mine, dirty and covered in death.

CINDY: Momma I have a cradle in my belly and I intend to fill it with Johnson's seed. Then in the spring a
flower—

MOMMA: Cindy. Now listen to me—

CINDY: No you listen to me Momma my life needs this IÕm—

MOMMA: Your life needs you first the best you can be sweet darlin, the best you can be for you first.
DonÕt fill the void in your soul with someone else when you havenÕt—

CINDY: IÕm a whole woman Momma and having a baby with Johnson will take me to heaven.

MOMMA: What are you talking about girl? A baby is an earth-animal thing. ItÕs physical not heavenly.
We breed like rats instead of like butter-flies. For survival, not for growth.

CINDY: No Momma God has told me that upon the birth of my baby I shall die and Johnson will leave
and the life of this precious being will fall into your hands to make and or break. Its little hands will fit into
yours and squeeze for food and attention as mine used to do and ... if you were looking harder, are doing
now.

MOMMA: Codpiece.

©2000DavidCaplan